Sex after kids. Is it really a thing?
After 9 months of carrying your delightful bundle, it’s finally arrived. Your days are now spent, feeding, changing, swaddling and then feeding changing swaddling again and the first thing you want to do when your partner walks in the door is get all fifty shades on it right? I’m guessing no.
I’m sure everyone thinks life will be back on track once baby arrives, but to be honest it just gets turned upside down even more and chances are your relationship and pre pregnancy sex life falls to the bottom of the list.
Sex after babies can be a challenge. There are so many changes to your body that effect how great or not great it can be.
So, what are you in for and how can you make your sex life great again? Below are some common issues you might face and some ways to put your sex life at the top of the list again.
Just do it
When you first enter into a relationship, sex can be a minefield. It can be confusing, embarrassing, uncomfortable and involve so much talk about what it means, whether you’re doing it enough and avoids all the important stuff like what actually might make it better! And then you have kids and everything changes.
It’s now time to shake what your mamma gave you. That’s right…he’s seen you in all your glory. He loves you no matter what! Regardless of your cellulite, your new weird belly button and the extra skin that seems to have appeared around your midriff.
Start exploring each other more, talk about what you love and what you hate and dare to try new things in new places. Take your sex life to a crazy next level!
The Almighty Pelvic Floor
I know people harp on about these muscles that no one ever sees, but believe me, they play a huge role in sex after babies.
The vaginal walls are layered with the pelvic floor muscles and the more we exercise these muscles the stronger and bulkier they get which is going to take up more room, resulting in greater friction and a whole lot more fun not only for you, but for him too.
By doing as your doctor says and regularly taking your pelvic floor muscles for a workout, you’ll be toning and strengthening these muscles, improving blood supply and nerve activity, all leading to greater pleasure. In fact many women report they are able to reach orgasm more easily, and that their orgasms are more powerful, after focusing on pelvic floor muscle exercises.
I’m sure we are all guilty of saying how tired we were before kids right? But the truth is you never really knew the definition of the word until you had kids.
Sleep or lack thereof it can be a huge hinderance on sex. The thought of having sex when you’ve just climbed into bed after a day of getting kids in and out carseats, keeping the peace between siblings, constantly delivering food to hungry little people all while trying to maintain a household can be non-existent.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the magic answer here, but one thing to try is stop thinking of sex and sleep as one thing. Instead consider sex as a means to a better night’s sleep. It has been proven that those who engage in regular sex actually have a better night’s sleep.
You can also try and plan sex nights in advance. I know you should never plan sex and it should always be spontaneous, but the reality is that spontaneity rarely exists when you have kids. Make hump day an actual hump day and try hitting the sack an hour earlier. By the time sleep comes, you’ll be relaxed and ready for some deep zzzz’s.