Let's talk about sex...

The joy of becoming a parent is often cancelled out by losing a healthy and active sex life. Most women are very tired in the first trimester and nausea often affects their desire. During the second trimester many women have an increase in libido but they often complain that don’t feel sexy because of their body shape.

My suggestion is: buy sexy lingerie, which can cover the parts of your body you worry about and so you still feel like a sexy woman. As women become bigger in the last months of the pregnancy certain positions become very difficult but this should not prevent intercourse.

Finally the baby arrives! Especially first parents have no idea what that will be like and it will take a while for things to get back to normal. Losing interest in sex after a baby is pretty common and it is important for couples to talk to each other. Discussing sex with your partner will allow you both to voice your concerns so you can keep feeling connected and it is important for your intimacy.

Looking after a newborn is exhausting and some women feel detached from their sexuality through trying to adjust to being a mother, which is quite a normal response to having a new baby.

Until you are ready to have sex, you can maintain intimacy in other ways. Be creative, if penetrative intercourse is difficult, there are many other ways to be sexual; you can start with cuddling, kissing, giving a massage, oral sex or masturbation.

Even when you have time for sex, you may not feel like it and a facial or body massage seem to be much more inviting. Sex takes work; it doesn't just happen by itself so the couples who prioritise its importance in the relationship tend to be the ones who start having it again. Also, never forget the power of a “quickie”

About Matty Silver - Matty Silver is a Relationship Counsellor and Sexual Health Therapist with a private practice in Sydney, who works with people to identify and overcome a range of physical and mental sexual health problems. She specialises in telephone counselling all over Australia as another option to access advice or therapy. www.mattysilver.com.au

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